We're glad to ring in Pride Month 2024 with this blog. We are an LGBTQIA+-friendly law firm, and we stand by our commitment to diverse communities.
Indeed, many readers may find it curious that we are not concerned with any specific group's rights. Rather, as Former UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon observed, “We declare that human rights are for all of us, all the time: whoever we are and wherever we are from; no matter our class, our opinions, our sexual orientation.”
We therefore support human rights, not minority rights. There is, in our world view, no such thing as a "minority"... instead we are all people, and such feel that we are all worthy of the same respect, dignity, honor, opportunity, and freedom from discrimination.
Yet, our society continues to throw up walls and barriers to those are might not be like them. We therefore stand arm-in-arm with those who celebrate Pride Month, and support its mission to honor the 1969 Stonewall riots and continue the work to achieve equal justice and equal opportunity for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, intersex, asexual, and others who identify as part of the community.
With that in mind, we hope you enjoy this week's blog.
Featured Blog
As an LGBTQIA+ non-biological parent, June's arrival sparks a flurry of Pride celebrations reminding you of the remarkable progress the community has made, while also shining a light on the ongoing fight for full equality. One area where you may still face unique legal hurdles is in ensuring your parental rights are properly protected, if you are a non-biological parent. Marriage may not be enough, but marriage in conjunction with estate planning gives you the maximum peace of mind.
This Pride Month, take the time to safeguard your family's future by putting the proper legal protections in place for yourself and the people you love. You worked hard to build this life —don't let lack of planning put it all at risk. In this article, I’ll address some key actions to take so you’re empowered to advocate for your rights as an LGBTQIA+ non-biological parent.
Establish Legal Parentage
As a non-biological parent, your first priority is to ensure youare recognized as the legal parent of your child or children. This may seem like a given, but the laws around legal parentage can vary significantly between states and get tricky for LGBTQIA+ families.
For example, imagine your partner gives birth to a child through donor insemination, and you are not the biological parent. In many states, you would not automatically be considered a legal parent to that child—even if you're married. The same applies to same-gender couples who have a child through surrogacy or adopt a child.
Without taking additional steps like a second-parent adoption or other legal processes, you could face an uphill battle asserting your parental rights and decision-making authority about the child's care, education, and other crucial matters. This is the case even if you are co-parenting a child with your partner or spouse who is the biological parent of the child.
It may sound extreme, but there are cases of non-legal LGBTQIA+ parents being denied the ability to make medical decisions for their own child or facing obstacles traveling across state lines together.
Build your family’s foundation on a rock, not sand. No matter how your child came into your lives, be sure to take the proper legal steps to ensure you have equal legal standing and rights as a parent, from day one.
Get Vital Legal Documents in Place
Beyond solidifying legal parentage, you need other legal documents in place to protect your role as a non-biological parent:
Without this agreement, a bitter break-up or disagreement could put your relationship with your child in legal jeopardy, especially if there isn’t an obvious framework for who has custodial rights. A thoroughly drafted parenting agreement acts as your concrete evidence of the intended family structure.
This makes it absolutely imperative to explicitly document your choice of legal guardians for your children in case you are incapacitated or pass away. A Kid’s Protection Plan, where you nominate guardians for your children, exclude anyone you wouldn’t want, say what happens if they’re with a babysitter and you’re in an unforeseeable accident, prevents family you’d never want raising them from doing so, and ensures they’re never taken into the care of strangers, can not only help prevent ugly custody battles, but also make sure your kids are provided the love and stability they deserve.
As an LGBTQIA+ parent, these provisions are the way to reinforce your intentions and values about who should care for your children in keeping with the family structure you created. Don't leave it up to a judge's interpretation, who knows nothing about you and your children. Think about it: a judge is a complete stranger. Do you really want a complete stranger deciding what happens to your kids if you were no longer here? Of course not! So take action while you can, and if you are the non-biological parent in relationship with the biological parent, and without clear legal parentage, it’s even more critical - make sure your child’s biological parent has a Kids Protection Plan in place.
Build a Support System
Beyond legal documentation, it's just as important to fortify your family with trusted allies and support networks who can advocate for your rights if they are ever challenged.
Look into connecting with local or national LGBTQIA+ family organizations and online communities where you can share advice and learn from others facing similar barriers. Groups like COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere) provide helpful resources.
You should also identify LGBTQIA+ friendly legal advisors, who will take a heart-centeredapproach to estate planning, and who really, really cares about your family. As a Personal Family Lawyer®, our firm will set you up with solid legal protections, and also be there for you and your family, anytime you need legal support in the future.
At the end of the day, the sad reality is that despite how far LGBTQIA+ rights have come, you may still face prejudiced individuals or institutions that try to undermine the legal protections you put in place. Having a solid support system in your corner could make all the difference.
Leave a Legacy, Not a Mess
As an LGBTQIA+ parent, you may have had to overcome many hurdles simply to become a parent to your child or children. Now it's time to ensure you can leave the lasting legacy you envision for them.
With a comprehensive estate plan that works when you and your loved ones need it to, you can capture the immense love, sacrifice and life lessons that went into creating and nurturing your family unit. We ask that you ensure you pass on your money, but the intangible assets that truly matter to the people you love.
You can memorialize the values, heritage and core principles you hope to impart on your children and can outline cherished ceremonial traditions you want carried on at important milestones. During our Life & Legacy Planning process, we’ll record you speaking about what matters most for the people you love, creating a family heirloom that will be passed on for generations.
Get Support for the Journey
Even in 2024, the road to equality and respect is an ongoing battle for LGBTQIA+ parents and families. But you don't have to figure it out alone. This Pride Month, connect with a Personal Family Lawyer who can empower you to protect your family structure and parental rights through comprehensive estate planning.
Estate planning is not just about legal formalities, but ensuring your lifetime of efforts to create your family leaves a proud, enduring legacy for generations to come. With the proper guidance, you can celebrate future Pride events confident your journey won't be derailed by preventable legal oversights. The peace of mind of knowing you've shored up your family's legal standing is one of the greatest acts of love you can provide. It’s not only a gift of love for your children, but a gift of love to yourself.
This Pride Month, give yourself and your children the greatest gift: a lasting celebration of your family's identity, equality and unbreakable bonds.
